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Mar
11th
Thu
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Green Zone: Forget it, Roy. It’s Bagdad.

Tonight I went to see the new movie Green Zone, which is basically a Ramond Chandler private dick kind of story with more explosions. The film stars Matt Damon, and all in all, it is pretty entertaining, though there were a few things about it that really killed my suspension of disbelief. When a film deals with any kind of politically charged, quasi reality, any little thing that feels phony or cheesy can really pull me out of it.

First of all, the term, “WMD” was used about a million times throughout the film. Moreover, almost every time it was used, it was overemphasized and felt unnatural, like a fifth grader trying to sound cool by using the word, “fuck.” I suggest you bring a flask with you to the theater and play a little drinking game. Take a swig every time someone in the movie says, “WMD.” Just make sure that you aren’t driving.

Second of all, it really is crafted like a classic private detective mystery story. Matt Damon’s character, Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller, is pushed around and beaten, but not broken. People keep popping out of the woodwork, telling him to call them, or beating him up and threatening him, telling him to give up his investigation. And, of course, in the end the original mystery turns out to simply be a blanket covering the real mystery which is resolved with the same clarity and dissatisfaction as China Town.

Green Zone is entertaining. Matt Damon is a great actor, and his acting is great in this film, but don’t expect to walk out a changed person. Even if there is truth to the story, it comes across as truthiness, and it lacks relevance. We are still in this war, but the time for this movie to have come out was three or four years ago. I would have rather seen a Bourne prequel.

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Mar
10th
Wed
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J.C. Won’t You 3D The Academy?

I recently heard James Cameron talking about Avatar. He said that he had the idea for this film 15 years ago but the technology wasn’t there until recently to make the film a reality. Now… the story is basically the same story as Pocahontas… which came out in 1995. You do the math.

Eh! Whatever! There are no truly original story lines.

I am actually here to speak up for James Cameron, Avatar, and any and all future 3D movies nominated for Oscars.

Speak up? What?

Yesterday, I was sitting in traffic and thinking about the Academy Awards, how stuff works, etc. If you don’t know how the academy works, don’t worry. I don’t know exactly how it works either. What I do know is that basically the nominees are selected by screenings for Academy members here in LA. When the nominees are finalized, screener DVDs are sent out to all the members of the academy along with ballots.

Most of the people in the Academy are complete shut-ins, never leaving their houses and apartments to see movies, because they know that eventually they will be sent DVDs of all the best movies. Why leave your house, when you know the world is coming to you?

They get these screeners and ballots, watch the movies, and vote.

So what?

This means that most members of the academy that voted on best picture etc. probably only saw Avatar on their crappy TV and not in IMAX 3D, meaning that they did not get to experience the entire effect of the movie.

Basically, I am saying that James Cameron needs to buy everyone in the Academy a 3D TV if he really wants to see 3D thrive.

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I saw this film when I was a kid, and then started to think it was a dream because I would describe it to people, and no one else remembered. Plus, it’s fucking weird.
Check out the trailer. Peanut Butter Solution.

I saw this film when I was a kid, and then started to think it was a dream because I would describe it to people, and no one else remembered. Plus, it’s fucking weird.

Check out the trailer. Peanut Butter Solution.

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If you are interested in buying some Melrose Place Cologne for men or women, I made the picture a link.
molls:

I went to Chuck’s neighbor’s house to watch the Oscars tonight. If you want to know what I thought about them, you can follow my Twitter. Also, a note about that: Don’t have my tweets sent to your phone. I know some people still do that and I encourage you to not do that with me. I’ll drive you mental. No one needs a text message from Twitter saying that Molly McAleer isn’t pleased with her lunch. I’d kill myself if I got a text message that said that and I actually am Molly McAleer.
ANYWAY!
See this shirt I’m wearing? It says “RAPE TROLL”. I was wearing a flannel, but when I showed up to Chuck’s I was like, “I smell gross!” and he was all, “Use some of my Melrose Place cologne” and believe it or not, that shit smells disgusting. And I thought it was hilarious so I sprayed way too much of it and then Chuck was all, “YOU’LL GIVE PEOPLE ALLERGIES IF YOU GO OVER THERE SMELLING LIKE THAT.”
And so then I decided to do laps in his driveway to air it out of my clothes.
After about three laps Chuck was like, “I’m pretty sure the only way to get it off is by swimming in the Melrose Place pool. You better wear one of my shirts.”
And so I am. And it says “RAPE TROLL” on it. And I am totally wearing this to my new office tomorrow because I don’t think I got the chance to alienate anybody on Friday.

If you are interested in buying some Melrose Place Cologne for men or women, I made the picture a link.

molls:

I went to Chuck’s neighbor’s house to watch the Oscars tonight. If you want to know what I thought about them, you can follow my Twitter. Also, a note about that: Don’t have my tweets sent to your phone. I know some people still do that and I encourage you to not do that with me. I’ll drive you mental. No one needs a text message from Twitter saying that Molly McAleer isn’t pleased with her lunch. I’d kill myself if I got a text message that said that and I actually am Molly McAleer.

ANYWAY!

See this shirt I’m wearing? It says “RAPE TROLL”. I was wearing a flannel, but when I showed up to Chuck’s I was like, “I smell gross!” and he was all, “Use some of my Melrose Place cologne” and believe it or not, that shit smells disgusting. And I thought it was hilarious so I sprayed way too much of it and then Chuck was all, “YOU’LL GIVE PEOPLE ALLERGIES IF YOU GO OVER THERE SMELLING LIKE THAT.”

And so then I decided to do laps in his driveway to air it out of my clothes.

After about three laps Chuck was like, “I’m pretty sure the only way to get it off is by swimming in the Melrose Place pool. You better wear one of my shirts.”

And so I am. And it says “RAPE TROLL” on it. And I am totally wearing this to my new office tomorrow because I don’t think I got the chance to alienate anybody on Friday.

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I am watching this. It is pretty amazing.

I am watching this. It is pretty amazing.

Mar
9th
Tue
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#TasteTestTuesday - #ttt - Will, a.k.a. http://thehipsterdiet.com and I went down to Little Tokyo to further the Internet experiment. While there, we decided to try some local beverages of the asian persuasion, making this another TASTE TEST TUESDAY or TTT.

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Serious question.
Did Ricky Martin ever officially come out of the closet?

Serious question.

Did Ricky Martin ever officially come out of the closet?

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And no one has made at least a million dollars on one of my ideas?

And no one has made at least a million dollars on one of my ideas?