December 2009
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November 2009
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A Word Of Advice
There are many snap judgements you might make when you hear what I am about to tell you, and they are: Chuck is a dumb ass, Chuck is obsessed with Asian women, and Chuck is a dumb ass.
I recently took a good look at my bank statement, something I only do every once in a while, usually when I realize that I have over drafted and I am looking for some sort of good reason besides a million charges...
“Some activities are considered ‘addictions’ while others are...”
– Chuck, on the topic of getting out of bed
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“A man with no head, is a man with no need for a hat.”
– Chuck, on the topic of hat sales tactics
Listen
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Listen
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“I smell like women.”
– Chuck, on the topic of smelling like women
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“Sitting around on Thanksgiving is a given… so why isn’t sitting...”
– Chuck, on the topic of sitting
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“If sitting was given more respect, many handicapped individuals would gain the...”
– Chuck, on the topic of sitting
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Busted In Austin →
My friend John sent me a link to this today. It seems pretty amazing, but now I am kinda worried that John, who has been arrested on several occasions for things like public intoxication and awkward drunkenness, is going to do something just to get into this publication. He won’t actively pursue getting arrested, but there is no telling what the thought of taking an amazing mugshot jogging...
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“I don’t drink alone… I always ahve my friend Jack with me.”
– Chuck, on the topic of boring people
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Talked to my mom today about hats.
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“Kristin Cavalari is the most popular bitch since Lassie.”
– Simon B., on the topic of bitches
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Notre Dame QB Sucker Punched By Fan →
I can only see this as a good thing. Sports takes passion… real passion. Now I know that these student athletes are under a lot of pressure, but there is no pressure like the kind of pressure you feel knowing that people are going to kick your ass unless you perform.
Moreover, a punch in the face can serve to remind one that there are worse things in life than losing, like being punched in...
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“You LUCKY! You’re gonna make shit tons of money because your dope mom make...”
– Kate, on the topic of money
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Fan Mail
I just got this fan mail… I think it’s fan mail.
“dear delusional people, If you feel like or think that your life is ‘totally like a movie’, it probably means it’s a complete cliche.”
-justinbieberfan94
Listen
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“The quantitative measure of friendship and camaraderie was difficult or almost...”
– Chuck, on the topic of measuring
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It looks like things are moving forward with my...
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“When women get makeovers…”
– Chuck, on the topic of makeovers
Listen
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“I wonder if the Catholic Church has ever considered decreeing...”
– Chuck, on the topic of makeovers
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Why am I up at 9am on Sunday Morning?
Last night, after my quasi-ritualistic trip to Sizzler, I had several opportunities to go do “things.” “Things,” of course, means going and getting drunk.
Instead, I decided that I was going to work on my romcom. Sizzler’s endless salad bar had inspired me to finish my romcom of endless entertainment. But, after writing two more brilliant pages, I got distracted and...
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“I have a bloody nose. Does that offend any of you from England?”
– Chuck, on the topic of his bloody nose
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“Maybe the lack of respect for ‘sitting’ stems from the fact that one...”
– Chuck, on the topic of sitting
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Troll 2 Documentary
First, let me say that if you haven’t seen Troll 2, you should rent it or steal it from the internet immediately.
Second, the Best Worst Movie threatens to be a very entertaining documentary. It is a documentary about the making of Troll 2.
Third, I am currently trying to arrange a private screening of Troll 2 and Best Worst Movie back to back. Do you live in LA? Would you want to attend?...
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“Billy is like a dumb Atticus Finch - Loved in many ways… for many...”
– Chuck, on the topic of the original Melrose Place
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“Billy is the one who got me interested in advertising. I figured, if he could do...”
– Chuck, on the topic of the original Melrose Place
Listen
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I met a guy tonight who knew all about the vegan...
WatchMolls cares about Molls so much that she wants to marry Molls.
I guess that her asking the question is, in fact, an answer to the question. Right?
Deep… Deep… Really deep.
molls:
Molls, will you marry me?
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