July 2011
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June 2011
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I gave that fucking creepy hand model lady a run for her money!
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Legos come with directions, but they are loved, because the directions can be...
– Chuck, on the topic of gay marriage
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John Nijhawan ... Man! →
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Target Jesus
LUCY: Look Daddy! It’s Jesus!
DAD: Lucy, honey, that’s not Jesus.
LUCY: Well it looks like him.
DAD: Yeah, it looks like him, but think honey, what would Jesus be doing here at Target?
LUCY: Shopping?
DAD: No, no, no, Jesus would never shop at Target.
LUCY: Why not?
DAD: Because, we shop at Target, and he is our Lord and Master. Do you really think he would shop at the same place as us?
LUCY: Jesus doesn’t like us?
DAD: What? No, honey. That’s not… Well look! He’s wearing Nike shoes. Jesus wouldn’t wear Nikes.
LUCY: Why not?
DAD: Nike is a pagan goddess Lucy.
LUCY: But Mommy wears Nikes!
DAD: Forget about the Nikes. Look... I know Jesus is white in the pictures you have seen, but Jesus was actually Middle Eastern. He was Jewish. He wouldn’t look anything like that guy.
LUCY: What? But, but, but!
DAD: Honey, baby, Lucy, calm down. Okay, just calm down. Look… we’ll just ask him. Will that make you happy?
LUCY: Okay Daddy.
DAD: Are you Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior?
JESUS: Duh. Yeah.
LUCY: Yay!
DAD: Well alright then. So, are we cool for the rapture?
JESUS: Yeah, yeah you are, but that Nike wearing wife... Eh. Sorry?
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If Australia wasn’t on the other side of the world, it would be upside...
– Chuck, on the topic of downers
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Until they are able to enjoy complete self satisfaction and total joy, computers...
– Chuck, on the topic of masturbation
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I am going to be bigger than anyone in the Hip Hop world.
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Slowly swallowed by our selves, our things, our collections, our...
– Chuck, on the topic of the Cold Stone Creamery
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We all engage in combat. Everyday is a war. The casualties are not always...
– Chuck, on the topic of Mortal Combat
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Black River
I recently listed my feature script, “Black River” on a thing called InkTip.com. If no one wants to buy it after this, I will probably just start reading it in sections on Vyou.
“Promising young black law school student Chris Stoval, his thug brother Tyrone, career military cousin Frank, and roommate Amit head out on a rafting trip down Black River, planing to meet up with some...
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If everyone talks at once, nothing can be said.
– Chuck, on the topic of the Internet
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The problem with problems is that everyone has them.
– Chuck, on the topic of Problem Child
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So… join in! Let the world know just how dirty you have been.
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Really touching people… is hard.
– Chuck, on the topic of getting hard
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