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Why Isn’t Tumblr Sending Me To Fashion Week?

Dear Rich Tong, 

Why isn’t Tumblr sending me to New York Fashion Week?

Sure the fashion people and people who love fashion and masturbating to fashion and fashioning all over each other will love the coverage from all the fashion bloggers that talk about fashion all the time, but what about the rest of us? What about the real people? 

I am the perfect person to cover NY fashion week for the regular Joe, not Joseph Gordon Levitt, no, the other Joe… the regular one. 

I have a background in art and stupidity, making me the prefect person to bridge the gap.

Not enough for you Mr. Tong?

Here is a list of 5 more reasons. 

1. New York Fashion Week is all about the parties. I know how to party. 

2. People like me, especially fashion people. They want to dress me. 

3. I have seen Unzipped.

4. I can give criticism on anything.

5. Gay men love me, and I can prove it. I know not everyone in fashion is gay, but… this can’t hurt. 

Lets face it Mr. Tong. I am like a big hairy Tavi…

Sincerely, 

Chuck McCarthy