Who cares if she won a couple of gold medals? What the fuck is happening with her hair? How can we somehow connect her to Miley Cyrus? Oh they both got haircuts! Genius. Can we somehow spin her hair buzz into some sort of cause? Oh! Work conditions for weave factory workers in India… the Sikh temple shooting? No… maybe let’s spin… Cruelty To Squirrels. She is the Flying Squirrel. We can get Ke$ha on board! Genius. What about the price of gold? Yeah, we can get Cash 4 Gold on board to sponsor! Golden!