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Dear American Apparel and Butt Magazine,  I recently came across this article about the launch of your new line of beach towels featuring Butt models. I do not wish to insult your taste. These towels are very nice, but if you really want to make some money (that’s what it’s all about right), you will consider including this beach towel featuring my likeness to your collection. There are dozens of people out there who would love to dry their asses with my face. Trust me. Plus, I will bring a playfulness to the project that just isn’t there right now. What is the beach about if it’s not playfulness? In Spanish beach is, “playa.” Don’t be a “playa” hater! Think about it.   I await your reply, Chuck McCarthy

Dear American Apparel and Butt Magazine, 

I recently came across this article about the launch of your new line of beach towels featuring Butt models.

I do not wish to insult your taste. These towels are very nice, but if you really want to make some money (that’s what it’s all about right), you will consider including this beach towel featuring my likeness to your collection.

There are dozens of people out there who would love to dry their asses with my face. Trust me. Plus, I will bring a playfulness to the project that just isn’t there right now. What is the beach about if it’s not playfulness? In Spanish beach is, “playa.” Don’t be a “playa” hater!

Think about it.  

I await your reply,

Chuck McCarthy